If you are a parent, you’ve been there. You are tired from a long day and your patience is limited. Now your child is screaming or throwing a “fit” in angry defiance to what seems to be a pretty reasonable request. How do you react? What if you know your child has experienced trauma?

Since a child cannot communicate verbally like an adult, he or she may struggle to label emotions or discuss distressing events. Instead you may see aggressiveness, irritability, or becoming very quiet in the face of high levels of anxiety or stress.

While it may seem daunting, there are strategies to help you support your child who has experienced trauma, while not stretching yourself too thin. In addition to seeking professional help, here are a few strategies to apply to help your child manage intense emotions.

-Be near your child physically while you communicate.

-Help a child label their feelings. This might include:

“That seems frustrating to you. Is that right?”
“It doesn’t always seem fair when your brother gets to do something that you are not allowed to.”
“Thank you for letting me know how you feel.”

-Hug your child daily.

-Use statements that show your child their importance to you. This might include:

“You are important to me.”
“I am so happy you are part of our family.”
“What can I do today to make sure you feel loved?”

It takes time and often the help of a professional, but when children are able to handle intense emotions, they are more content. This leads to better connections with family, better behavior, more concentration in school, and emotional intelligence that can last a lifetime.